


your actions have consequences, Starlight

by butthulu



Series: Tacenda [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, honorable mention to Yellow Diamond and Blue Diamond but they don't actually have any speaking lines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23063728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butthulu/pseuds/butthulu
Summary: She's never broken anythingimportant,before.
Series: Tacenda [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656463
Kudos: 28





	1. aftermath

In the aftermath of what Yellow Diamond describes as an embarrassing tantrum and Blue says was a silly shouting match and White says _Won’t happen again, Starlight, will it_ , Pink can’t even look at her pearl. There’s this _burning_ in her- her- her _gem_ , almost, it feels absolutely terrible and she doesn’t have the words for what it is but it’s… new. And bad. 

She’s never broken anything _important_ , before.

Her pearl says that she didn’t mean to hurt her. But Pink gets the feeling that meaning to doesn’t matter. Tears well up in her eyes when they’re alone, her lip wobbling, and she smears the salty fluid on her pearl’s eye but it doesn’t- _work_ -

What happens to a gem when they’re not even good for what they’re _made_ for? 

Why don’t her healing tears work?

Maybe it’s because something’s wrong with her. Maybe- maybe she doesn’t feel bad enough, but she isn’t sure how that’s possible, because she feels like that burning thing in her gem is trying to claw its way out of her through her mouth and it’s the worst thing she’s ever _felt_ , she doesn’t know how she could possibly _ever_ feel worse than _this!_ Maybe she can’t undo something bad she’s done with her powers by using her other powers. Even S.H.E.L.L. can’t help when Pink asks. But- maybe White can help. 

She asks White if _she_ can fix her pearl, and White is very, very quiet for a moment. 

“Of course I can, Starlight.”


	2. consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't what she meant. This isn't what she wanted.

This isn’t what she meant. This isn’t what she wanted. She tries to tell that to White, but White just pats her on the head and says they’ve got a new pearl for her, a special pearl that’s a gift from all of them. 

Pink recognizes this pearl. She’s White’s pearl, but when she comes out of her shell- after a hollow voice says Pink’s name out of her own mouth and defers to default- she’s brand new. And she’s colorful. Bright, in a way that her pearl never quite was. And Pink feels nothing. The burning has gone away. So she thanks White, and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you learn what's right and wrong when your only direction is by example and your only examples are the people that hurt you?
> 
> Guilt, shame, and a hefty dose of self-hatred.


End file.
